I've Had Enough!!

I’ve been having some internal struggles today.  I am again feeling like I don’t know my place in this world.  I desire to use my talents in a way that glorifies God, while bringing love and joy to others, and to myself.  I would also like to be paid, if possible, to ease the strain on my family.  In some of my darker moments, I could no more name a talent that I possess than I can do quantum physics.  At other times, I am at a loss of how I can use my talents in a way that glorifies God. 

This often leaves me feeling out-of-sorts and with no clear purpose, as if I am floating through life and not being a good steward of the wonderful things the Lord has blessed me with.  I then begin to feel useless and ungrateful; then the dreaded word starts cycling in my head.   

The word that I would love to completely cut out of my vocabulary, as if it never existed, is “enough”.  I detest it.  It mocks me.   It pushes all my buttons and has the potential of sending me into a tailspin of depression.  It triggers my feelings of inadequacy and incompleteness.

I can get trapped in the destructive cycle of negative self-talk, and it all centers around the word “enough”.  Does the word mock you too, gentle reader?

“I am not enough.”  “I’m not a good enough mother.”  “I am not a good enough wife.”  “I am not a good enough employee.”  “I am not a good enough Christian.”  “I’m not a good enough friend.”  “I don’t keep a clean enough house.”  “I do not make enough money.”  “I do not have enough talents.”  “I am not enough.”

But the wonderful thing is that the light of Christ shines through all these to show them for the lies that they are.  These are lies that Satan feeds us, hoping to discourage us, hoping to take our attention off God and to dwell in our own inadequacies.

Matthew 19:26 tells us that, with God, all things are possible.  For those who have accepted the free gift of salvation, we are made whole and complete through the love and power of God and Christ Jesus.  

It’s true that, by myself, I am not enough.  With God, I can do all things.  So, when the negative self-talk starts cycling in my head, who am I heeding and who am I shutting out?

God always provides, and He doesn’t need my help to do so.  God desires my love, my commitment, my obedience, and my faithfulness, but He doesn’t extort them from me.  It is always my choice.  It is my choice to love Him, to serve Him, to be faithful and obedient, and not because I am trying to repay the gift of salvation, but because I WANT to.

Shine the light of the Lord on the lies in your own life.  You’ll be amazed at what you’ll find.  You can free yourself from the shackles of self-doubt and live in the light, love, and glory of the Father.

With God, I am enough.